Well, our first week of daycare is nearly under our belt – thank goodness! What a week! My first day back to work and Abby’s first day of daycare was Tuesday, September 1st. Over my whole maternity leave, I have dreaded that day but at times would get a little anxious about it. I didn’t want to take her to day care, but I didn’t want to stay at home forever.
Monday night, before I went back to work I literally cried myself to sleep. I honestly didn’t think I was going to be able to take her the next morning. I had SO many thoughts running through my head! I was so worried about her, but I knew she would be fine. With the emotions of leaving her at daycare, came the emotions of missing mama. I kept thinking…. “if only I could just talk to her about this!” I felt SO alone! I think it was more than just taking her to daycare….. it was mainly the separation anxiety of me being away from her for over 8 hours at a time – the longest ever to be without her! I then kept thinking, “how can I stay at home and not return to work?” I was thinking of selling the house, selling Bo’s truck, working part-time, etc. Then, I had to face reality! There was NO WAY I could stay at home. I knew I would just have to get over this hurtle. I thought of all the things I have been through in the past year and I knew I had the strength to get through this. I did have to tell myself that I would only work till lunch on the first day, and then go pick her up! Although I knew in my heart, once I got to work I would be fine. It was just the initial dropping her off I was worried about.
So the morning finally came. Bo and I were both going to take her. We worked as a team trying to get ready for the day. It was great! I felt good about the day and didn’t feel too emotional (I mean my eyes were still swollen from crying so much the night before). I knew she was going to fall asleep on the way there, which I didn’t want. I was NOT going to leave her at that daycare asleep in the car seat. I didn’t want her to wake up in a weird place with no familiar faces. So we get to daycare and go to the nursery. I woke her up a bit when we got out of the vehicle, but she was falling back to sleep fast. I talk to her teacher and try to tell her things she likes. Then, time to go! I kissed her goodbye and as soon as I walked out of the room the tears were flowing! One of the workers and the director both gave me a hug and told me she would be fine. They told me to call as much as I wanted. That made me feel better, but I was still upset! I got in my vehicle and got myself together. I didn’t want to be a mess at work!
I got to work and did fine! I did call to check on her one time after lunch and she was fine - yes I made it the whole day at work. Work was great! It was really good seeing everyone and I am glad to be in a routine again. I even changed my work ours – a short lunch in order to get off earlier! Also, the amazing Aunt Jenn (and cousins Emily, Harlee, & Gracie) sent me some Gerber daisies to work to brighten my day! Jennifer has truly been my biggest rock through everything! I literally couldn’t make it without her!!!!
Monday night, before I went back to work I literally cried myself to sleep. I honestly didn’t think I was going to be able to take her the next morning. I had SO many thoughts running through my head! I was so worried about her, but I knew she would be fine. With the emotions of leaving her at daycare, came the emotions of missing mama. I kept thinking…. “if only I could just talk to her about this!” I felt SO alone! I think it was more than just taking her to daycare….. it was mainly the separation anxiety of me being away from her for over 8 hours at a time – the longest ever to be without her! I then kept thinking, “how can I stay at home and not return to work?” I was thinking of selling the house, selling Bo’s truck, working part-time, etc. Then, I had to face reality! There was NO WAY I could stay at home. I knew I would just have to get over this hurtle. I thought of all the things I have been through in the past year and I knew I had the strength to get through this. I did have to tell myself that I would only work till lunch on the first day, and then go pick her up! Although I knew in my heart, once I got to work I would be fine. It was just the initial dropping her off I was worried about.
So the morning finally came. Bo and I were both going to take her. We worked as a team trying to get ready for the day. It was great! I felt good about the day and didn’t feel too emotional (I mean my eyes were still swollen from crying so much the night before). I knew she was going to fall asleep on the way there, which I didn’t want. I was NOT going to leave her at that daycare asleep in the car seat. I didn’t want her to wake up in a weird place with no familiar faces. So we get to daycare and go to the nursery. I woke her up a bit when we got out of the vehicle, but she was falling back to sleep fast. I talk to her teacher and try to tell her things she likes. Then, time to go! I kissed her goodbye and as soon as I walked out of the room the tears were flowing! One of the workers and the director both gave me a hug and told me she would be fine. They told me to call as much as I wanted. That made me feel better, but I was still upset! I got in my vehicle and got myself together. I didn’t want to be a mess at work!
I got to work and did fine! I did call to check on her one time after lunch and she was fine - yes I made it the whole day at work. Work was great! It was really good seeing everyone and I am glad to be in a routine again. I even changed my work ours – a short lunch in order to get off earlier! Also, the amazing Aunt Jenn (and cousins Emily, Harlee, & Gracie) sent me some Gerber daisies to work to brighten my day! Jennifer has truly been my biggest rock through everything! I literally couldn’t make it without her!!!!
The end of my work days never come soon enough! I am dying to get to my baby girl!! But Abby seems to be doing well with daycare. It is still difficult to get through my day at work without seeing her, but we make up for it at night.
I love her more and more every single day! It still amazes me that God has blessed me with this perfect angel! She is truly my life! She also makes me feel like I have a piece of mama still here with me. I mean mama’s blood is literally running through her! I cannot WAIT to tell Abby about her Mimi!!
I love her more and more every single day! It still amazes me that God has blessed me with this perfect angel! She is truly my life! She also makes me feel like I have a piece of mama still here with me. I mean mama’s blood is literally running through her! I cannot WAIT to tell Abby about her Mimi!!
First day of "school:"
Flowers from Aunt Jenn:
Me and my baby girl at Jenn's baby shower on Sunday:
Abby smiling with her Auny Jenn:
1 comment:
oh girly! that first day is soooo hard. i remember mine with the diva. it broke my heart. i hated going back to PERS! ha!
so glad things are going well. xoso
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